louis-vuittoff: YESTERDAY I WENT TO MY FRIENDS HOUSE WEARING MY HORSE MASK AND WALKED INTO HER ROOM TO SCARE HER BUT SHE WAS LAYING ON HER BED MAKING OUT WITH HER FIANCÉ AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO SO I JUST STARTED NEIGHING IN THE DOORWAY
thetimetravelersguidetothegalaxy: gaaraofsuburbia: tctisi: It all makes sense now. Gay marriage and marijuana are being legalized at the same time. Leviticus 20:13 says if a man lays with another man, he should be stoned. We were just misinterpreting it. WAIT 20:13 2013
sweeneytad: *dentist slaughters family in front of you* they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
Physics exam tomorrow. I can’t wait.
parent: why hasn't ____ been round lately? I thought you were friends
me: well they turned into a cunt
gentlemanbones: zeldasboyfriend: me flirting You can’t just whip out your cock at somebody man
corpsifiedandgross: bondoge: is shut the fuck up an acceptable answer for an algebra problem Only if you show your work
allisonthenerdmachine: On a scale of 1 to the War of the Worlds broadcast how misunderstood is your joke.
foreveralone-lyguy: tomatolovers: so my mom gave me all these ballons my mom also wakes up at 4am half asleep to go to pee without turning the lights on the cat cant even get in
fahrenheit-469: its 2013 can we please have headphones that last more then 2 months
psychoticmist: if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
hahry: i cant even make a straight line while using a ruler why do people expect so much from me
one-hamburger: Yeah the sun is hot, but have you ever stopped to think about its personality
terminallycheesy: couragethecowardlyblogger: i finally understand the meaning of robin hood he’s robbin for the people in the hood
airoehead: yifflord: would you rather date a person in their “RAWR :3 XD LOLOLOL TROLLED!!! .3.” phase or drop raw onions in your eyes?
thebatteur: once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried